Is this the real problem?
Every single client I work with teaches me something when they share how they've applied the learnings and insights coaching has give them.
The client who taught me the way to express their working style via an email autoresponder in order to set time management boundaries.
The client who shared her success of standing firm in her beliefs and values with bravery, this knowledge supported me when I was in need of similar bravery recently.
The client who refuses to worry about future tasks because she has created a time and date to tackle them (this one is gold, but takes practice!).
Lesson 1: If you’re not doing the work, you need to ask yourself if this is the work you want to be doing?
Client D came to me with a clear goal.
"Get me out of my current career, help me find what I can do instead."
She was fully burned out and adamant that this was her goal.
Fast forward several weeks and our sessions weren’t progressing towards her goal. Each session circles back to why things can’t happen, can’t be considered and moreover, our agreed weekly actions never manifest.
In short, Client D wasn’t doing the work.
I took the Christmas break to consider how to broach this subject with her, but so, in fact, did she. Our first session of the new year and she’d come to realise through our sessions that the goal she thought she wanted so desperately, wasn’t actually her goal.
By being avoidant, dismissive and feeling challenged by the questions I’d posed in our sessions, some clarity had descended and allowed her to realise the real problem that she wanted to solve.
The real problem isn’t always obvious. We’re great at fooling ourselves, at masking, at diverting attention. Giving in to your discovery and realigning towards solving the real problem can take time and courage, but the rewards will come as long as you do the work.
Helpful questions you can ask yourself when you’re stuck like this:
Why am I procrastinating?
What are the feelings this is creating?
What is it I’m trying to avoid?
What are the good things in the situation I consider a problem?
If I were to define the problem to a stranger, how would I describe it?
Working with Client D has completely turned around. There are clear focused goals that we achieve in our sessions. The actions between sessions are being made, mostly. Most importantly, the energy shift I have seen in her is incredible.
Instead of being victim to a difficult problem, she is now in charge of shaping the future by working with the real challenges in her own way. It’s truly inspirational.
Want to learn how to harness the power of coaching for yourself? Book in a discovery call with me here.
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